Crime Report — Interns Get Drunk, Lose Stuff

The crimelog is always a fun read when it’s full of the silly antics of college students.  (Remember the time students got their phones stolen, but somehow got pictures of it happening?)  So what was UPD’s report from June?  A smaller population means less reports of crime overall, and an influx of baby interns means an increase in alcohol violations and theft.

What’s really fun to look through is the crime map the Hatchet compiled with 10 crimes highlighted — the most comically infuriating are the multiple stories that seem to point to GW cleaning staff and the story of the bike thief caught red handed, but who apparently wasn’t charged due in part to the fact that he threatened to harm himself.  wat.

Man Flashes GW Girls on Bike

A bike-riding man flashed his junk at several groups of girls at GW this week, at least twice on Monday, then again on Wednesday — making this officially the most weinerful week FoBo has seen in a long time. GWPD (the apparently new acronym for UPD) reports that the suspect is an approximately 20-something-year old hispanic male wearing jeans and a (possibly) khaki jacket.

From that description, our best guess is that the guy looked something like Rick Astley, but hispanic. And on a bike.

Gonna get dick-rolled.

Watch out. You don't want to get dick-rolled.

This isn’t quite as scary as a hammer-wielding nutjob, but I do wonder why it took GWPD all week to send out  a message about these incidents.

Full GW InfoMail message below the cut.

Click to see full report.

Protestor Throws Molotov Cocktails on K St.

DCist has some deets on two favorite DC past-times merged into one right in our own neighborhood: obnoxious protesting and traffic congestion.

A man with signs that said “Justice” and “Not my $200 million” climbed on top of his van at 17th and K, then threw some molotov cocktails and evidently even hit his intended target, which was the street. He was apprehended, and traffic returned to normal.

Did any of you actually see this going on?  Let us know in the comments if you have any idea what he was even “protesting.”

WUSA9 has more.

Total FoBo Crime Down, Violent Crime Up

Here’s some sort-of encouraging news from the Hatchet (emphasis added):

This year, total crime in the Police Service Area 207, which encompasses the Foggy Bottom campus, is down by 6 percent from the same time period last year, according to the MPD crime-mapping Web site. The drop has been primarily seen in property crimes like thefts, stolen cars and arson, which are down by 9 percent, according to the MPD crime map. Violent crimes, which include robberies, assaults and sex abuse, are up by 25 percent in the 207 area. Since the beginning of the school year, there have been 10 such crimes, according to crime map data.

While it’s good to know that we’ve all got less of a chance of having our property stolen or set on fire (there’s been a drop in arson? really? we have actual arson rates in FoBo?), it’ s a little disturbing to hear that violent crimes like assault and sex abuse are up a whopping 25%.  I’m sure putting it in terms of percentage probably makes the increase seem more dramatic, since it’s likely a relatively uncommon thing in our neighborhood, but still. 25%? Really?!  I wonder what percentage of that increase the Thurston Perv alone accounts for, not to mention the Hammer-wielding Nutjob.

On a different note — the Hatchet interviewed a panhandler in the area for his views on crime.  His response was that he thought the cops were doing a better job since there were less homeless people on the street.  Is this just some bizarre, lazy journalism, or is it out-of-the-box thinking to find a new angle? I can’t decide.  It’s weird, either way.

Wanted: Hammer-Wielding Nutjob (Suspect)

MPD has, via the GW listservs, emailed out a modern day Wanted poster for the hammer-wielding nutjob suspected of attacking a GW student in Duques earlier this month.

Hammer Attacker Suspect Mohammed N. Niazi

Hammer Attacker Suspect Mohammed N. Niazi

Keep your eyes peeled, fellow FoBoians.